Time

I have an extremely limited time to blog but these been a lot on my heart through out the week. So If you were expecting one great thing, sorry because I'm going to be all over the place....

1) Alexis, Sara, and I attended a conference over the past week end. It first when there was a couple singing about...um i actually failed in understanding what they were singing about, I was really disappointed. I was like " I cant believe i payed 40 dollars for this. Then out came the speaker and I honestly was not expecting very much. But I remembered the verse in Job were it says ""....... listened to me expectantly, waiting in silence for my counsel". And I realized I am so expectant an everyone to tell me how to do things, but truly I am made to wait in silence expecting God to talk to me and also God to use others to speak to me. I was a lot happier to be there when God really used to man to speak to the audiences heart. I believe it does not take a good speaker to preach a good message, but more so a Man or Women that is a good listener.

2) Church on Sunday night was awesome. If your on the worship team your most likely getting angry already but thank all of you, it was great. I went up for prayer and Pastor had a revelation for me and........ I don't, it was really awesome.

I have a lot more to say but I have to go, I'll write some more later.

Honduras

I am kinda feeling disappointed about the whole thing. But I know God will turn it into good. I talked to a few people today about the trip and it might be cancelled, I will still go but I just would not be able to share those moments with a large amount of the people I care about. Most likely with my little brother and Lex =[. So i wanted to look into things like population and that sort of thing. I was reading that the poplulation is well over 7 million. Then a little thing poped up on the bottom of the screen that said "Get Honduras forecast". I clicked on it. only because it told me to. Im now Im angry I did because it said today was a high of 95 degrees!!!!!!!!! ugh i want to go sooo bad. The lowest it averages is in november at 74 degrees.

All I need.

This statement is been the topic of my prayers for a week or so, and My heart just can't grasp the complexity if telling Jesus that All i truly need is Him. It is such a simple statement, with extraordinary meaning. Even now I just, wish I had a more divine understanding of this. I feel like I consider so many thing in life necessities that truly are not.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Faith

On Monday the Filiniche/Roberts family and my family went to the schaumburg district indoor water park. Like most water parks there were different sections. One for children and a few others for adults. After twenty or so minutes of floating my little sister Faith came to the edge of the pool and sat down. She plunged her feet into the chlorine filled water and turned her head my way and made a "your not paying any attention to me look". I asked her if she needed anything and she said she "wanted to show me something." and I gave her a "come on, do I have to?" kinda look.
She grasped my hand and began to pull. I, in a refusing manner, slowly got out of the water. She brought me to the children's section and pointed to the extremely large 45 degree angle slide. I laughed and asked her what she wanted me to do. She pulled me close by grasping my hair and pulling it closely to her mouth, she placed my ear 2 cm away and said " All i want is you to stand at the bottom". It was not to much to ask, I trotted down the steps that lead to the slide and pushed through the water until i got to the end of the slide. As I stood there thinking I was probably being looked at as a loser by the surrounding crowd. She looked down and said
" okay, are you ready?". I was like "YES, GO( To be honest I was getting impatient with her)!" She placed her body on the slide and began to ride the water. As I looked at the excitement in her eyes I realized that the only reason she wanted me there was to catch her if she messed up, to encourage her by saying she did it perfectly, to assure her someone was there for her when she finished, to be there to wipe the water drops off of her eyelashes when she was done, and lastly to tell her that she did a great job.
After i had wiped those water drops she slowly opened her eyes, to make sure there was no water remaining then looked up at me and said "How was that one". And literally my eyes started to tears as i picked her up and kissed her on the cheek, telling her she did a great job.
So the real reason i wrote this all was to make a comparison. We, like little children, are always searching for someone to tell us that we did a good job and wipe the water from our eyes. But we often underestimate the fullness of God's love and don't place 100% of our trust in his hand. Like Faith did when she opened her eyes slightly because she did not trust that i had gotten all the water off.
This experience showed my that even when we think God might not be there to wipe those water drops, He truly and whole heartedly is.

No control

I was getting out of bed on Wednesday and torn all the tendons in a large section of my foot. YES, I am on crutches. I remember a few years ago when I longed to be on crutches and when I would see someone with them I was jealous. But my mom makes me drink lots of milk so I have never broken a bone.
I need to have the crutches for about a week and a half or so. As i sat in the immediate care center I wish so much that I would be able to get crutches, not only because it would relieve my pain but also force the healing on my foot. after sitting in the center I got very restless and angry so when the women came out with my crutches I was relieved.
My mom was also having Daniel (little brother) tested for a bunch of thingy’s. We didn’t get home until around 1 something in the morning. And i remember throwing my crutches on the floor and jumping in to bed.
After a day or two, I began to begin to cry with out understanding of what i was upset about. I prayed, I had to lie in bed, so I prayed....long and hard. And God revealed to me that I was getting so upset with everything because I didn’t have control of my life. I disliked that I could not control what happened. I had gotten to the point were I have been crying a large amount for the past few days because of this.
During worship tonight God was truly speaking straight to my heart. I thought it was me just hearing what I wanted to but He said something that I couldn’t have ever come up with myself, and I love it. He said that he, to me, should be like my crutches. The thing that helps me when I need him and I realized I was leaning on others to help me. And that God, like the crutches, needed to control my life. I realized that it’s hard for me to give my everything to someone unseen. But faith is the evidence of things unseen.
Back up, a few Fridays ago I was praying with Lex and Gracie, if your reading this you probably know them, there two powerful little ladies. But Lex had this revelation (if I can call it that) on my life. She said,” Sam, it’s hard for you to give your heart full to God because you have given it to others and have broken it, but Sam God will not break your heart”. (I love you Lex) I also believe this is how I am with my desire to have control over my life; I am scared if I trust someone else to control it something will go wrong.
While I was worshipping God told me that He is the only one that can control my life. But I’ve slowly been learning through out the night, and I hope to learn more and more everyday, that giving Him….. my life in it's entirety will do nothing but help me.

The "Right" thing to say

Sometimes, well accualy most the time I have an adsents in saying the right things. Not necessarily saying the wrong things, but its a large struggle for me to speak how I feel about a topic. Sometimes I feel like I am, in am way, not good enough to be were I am in life. I often do not understand why God would take someone like me and accept me. Okay....So i was reading my Bible and personal im a huge fan of Psalm. SOO I was reading Psalm 19 and came upon verse 14 and I loved it. It reads: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight...." I began to reconsider what I believe to be acceptable in the Perfect, Blameless sight of Jesus Christ. I, as a Christian, often look to other Christians to teach me what is right/wrong for me say. But it says in Your sight, speaking about God. I just thought it was funny how much we look to other for everything when perfection is standing right in front of us and I rarely take even a small glance toward Him. Back up, in chapter 18 its says something to the effect of " God's way is perfect." It it may be hard for us to try and compare our words with His, but i honestly think that in doing this we will truely learn what it mean to keep our tongues "Tamed". I can also remember reading a part of the Bible were it says "someone lied using their tongues and their heart was then not steadfast..." Defintion of steadfast: firm, loyalty, or resolve. And I dont, and cannot control you but I encourage you to put these things into acting. My heart longs to be steadfast and to have an unwavering purpose for my life.

Proverb of the Day

Yesterday I was reading my "Proverb of the Day" and I read proverbs 23. As I was reading I found alot of things that got my attention but the main was verse 26. It says "My son, (or daughter for that matter) give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways." I, of course, easily skimmed over it and thought nothing of it. But after a few seconds God really starting speaking to my heart. I was not really expecting it but he pointed out to me the order in which it was placed in the Bible.

It doesn't say something like "Let your eyes observe my ways and give me your heart when your ready". God want us to give our full attention to him and give our hearts to him willingly. When we don't give God our heart in its fullness it's much more easily broken. And also our eyes need to be looking in one direction, in His, which is foward. I often find myself blaming my dad for how my life is now. But in the Bible it says " Though your beginning was small, yet your latter end will increase abundantly". So even if your life's beginning was not lived to the fullest, you have now to correct that.

It so easy for us to read the Bible without any comprehension involved. If it takes 10 or 20 minutes more oh well. Stay up a few more minutes or wake up a few minutes earlier. The Bible is so much more then a book that is to be skimmed over.

This was my first blog ever so dont laugh.